Parent Reflection Questionnaire: Understanding Your Child's Attachment Journey

Why This Questionnaire Is Important for Your Child’s Therapy Journey

As a parent, you play a central role in your child's life, and understanding your own experiences can help us support your child's emotional well-being more effectively. The purpose of this questionnaire is to reflect on your personal experiences with attachment, relationships, and parenting. By sharing your reflections, we can gain a deeper understanding of the environment in which your child is growing up. This helps us create a more supportive and individualized approach to your child’s therapy.

We understand that some of these questions might touch on sensitive topics, and we want to reassure you that there are no "right" or "wrong" answers. Your honest reflections are invaluable in helping us understand both your child’s needs and your own experiences as a parent. This insight enables us to work collaboratively, with the ultimate goal of supporting your child's growth and development. Questions for Reflections on Attachments

1. What was it like growing up in your family?
   

2. Who was in your family?
   

3. What was your parents’ philosophy about raising children?
   

4. What did or didn’t you like about being raised in your family?
   

5. Are you raising your own children in a similar way or differently?
   

6. Did you get along well with your parents and others in your family?
   

7. How did your family members get along with one another?
   

8. How have your relationships in your family changed over time?
   

9. If you have two parents, how were your relationships with each parent similar or different?
   

10. Say a few words that reflect your relationship with each parent from your earliest years.
    

11. Are there ways you have tried to be like or not like each of your parents?
    

12. Are there any others in your life who have served as parenting figures to whom you feel attached? If so, please answer the above questions regarding that person or those persons.
    

13. Did you ever experience a long separation from your parents in childhood? What was that like for you and for your parents?
    

14. What ways did your parents respond to your behaviors to teach you how to behave?
    

15. Did your parents use punishment in their discipline?
    

16. How have these strategies of being disciplined influenced your development?
    

17. Have you ever felt threatened by your parents?
    

18. Have you ever felt rejected by your parents?
    

19. Have there been any other experiences that may have been overwhelming in your life? What were these, and how do you feel they have influenced your life?
    

20. Do any of these experiences feel like they are still very much alive now in your life?
    

21. Has anyone significant in your life died?
    

22. Has anyone significant in your life left?
    

23. What impact have these losses had on you and your family?
    

24. How do these losses affect you now in your life?
    

25. How did your parents communicate with you when you were happy and excited?
    

26. What would happen when you were distressed, unhappy, injured, or ill?
    

27. Did each parent respond with different patterns of connecting to you when your emotions were intense?
    

28. How do you communicate with others now when emotions run high?
    

29. Were there relationships you could turn to, or places you could go, that you could rely on to help you feel comforted at difficult times? Did such a safe harbor exist when you were a child?
    

30. How do you feel those sources of safety have affected your life?
    

31. Did you feel safe, seen, and soothed by your parents?
    

32. How did your parents support your explorations away from them or outside the home?
    

33. How were your interests supported by your parents?
    

34. Did you feel secure as a child to go out and explore the world?
    

35. What is your relationship like now with your parents?
    

36. Why do you think your parents acted the way they did?
    

37. Do you try to not do things because of how your parents treated you?
    

38. As you reflect on all of these experiences, how do you think they influence the ways you relate to other people?
    

39. How do you feel all of these things we have been exploring have influenced who you are now as a person and how you have come to be the way you are?
    

40. What would you wish for yourself in your future relationships?
    

41. How do you imagine the experiences from your attachment relationships and early childhood may shape the person you can become?
    

42. Are there any factors from your past that are restricting you in the present and limiting who you can be in the future?
    

43. What do you see as your growth edge—things you would like to change in yourself so that you can become free to be the person you would like to be in the future?